"Boomerang" Poem by AB~

I feel this whole deep inside me,
Like someone has drilled in my soul,
And the harder I try and fill it,
The farther I feel from my goal,
Today I felt brilliantly happy,
But behind all the joy, I felt pain,
And although I tried to erase it,
I felt it come back once again,
I don't want to feel all this sadness,
I wish I could just close a door,
And know it was gone forever,
But something inside me has tore,
And I don't know what part I have broken,
I don't know what piece I have lost,
And although I'll never stop searching,
Feeling this way has a cost,
It's shameful to never be happy,
To feel like you don't love yourself,
It batters the core of your being,
A takes a toll on your health,
In my mind, I feel rather crazy,
I know I'm not bad, like I feel,
I need to find love for myself,
And stop hating me, so I heal,
It sounds so simple and easy,
And I wish I knew the right way,
But this tare,inside me, isn't mending,
And this coats growing colder each day.